We, at Vegan Street know that the Vegan Revolution has begun, though it's still in its infancy. How will we know when the Vegan Revolution has finally happened? Here are a few telltale signs...
*The September issue of Vogue will have a special 'Hemp: A Return to Glamour' section. Stella McCartney will be the new editor, replacing Anna Wintour, who crumbled into a fine, makeup-encrusted powder after her mechanical heart blew a fuse.
*The most popular indulgence is a carton of New Hampshire-based Ken & Terry's Natural Sorbet, replete with sunny images of bucolic farm scenes. Ken & Terry warm consumer's nostalgic hearts with their progressive business practices and aw-shucks-we're-just-a-couple-of-hippies-who-like-to-make-good-sorbet mien.
*Every November, your local news station does a warm-hearted, chuckling segment from the closest tofu turkey factory. The production manager tells the grinning reporter, "Yep, we've been fattening 'em up all year," as he pats a tofu turkey rolling by on the conveyor belt.
*All the old factory farms, zoos and aquariums are retooled as sanctuaries for former animal prisoners who can't be released into the wild.
*Those who wish eat meat on commercial aircraft will have to special order it in advance of their flights. When the stewards get it wrong and serve them vegan meals instead, meat-eaters will be too meek to make a fuss.
*The size XXXL will disappear from department store shelves.
* Cardiologists will be forced to reconsider their careers as incidents of heart disease plummet.
*McDougal's becomes the first major fast food chain to offer an all vegan menu, featuring the Big Tempeh; the sign under the golden arches will read "Over 10 Billion Animals Saved".
*When teenagers tell their parents that they want to go vegan, instead of concerns about iron and protein, parents cry tears of joy, exclaiming, "Honey, it's about time!"
*People meet weekly in church basements for Meat-Eaters Anonymous meetings, hoping to wean themselves off the Demon Flesh through group support, sponsorship and a series of well-defined steps.
* Meat-eaters will be confined to specially designated areas of restaurants so as not to compromise the enjoyment of those eating delicious vegan meals.
*Every fall, macho men in camouflage will gather before dawn in the woods with binoculars and bird identification guides.
*Some of the schoolchildren flocking to Washington DC to see the Farm Animals Memorial will be heard to utter, "Mommy, did peoplereally used to treat animals like that?"
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This page was launched October 5, 2000
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