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Dear Gwendolyn Good-Deed: Kind Activist: In her day, Ms. Good-Deed has been accused variously of secretly eating steak, wearing animal skins, and not having "a life" or "a job", usually through the means of a drive-by verbal assault. She has also been called a wide array of names, most of which would be a serious breech of good taste to disclose, but you will likely be exposed to them, too, if you haven't yet. She suffices to guess that the composite of the average activist, if sketched using the vitriol of the more vocal of passersby, would be one of a fire-breathing, one-eyed monster of hypocrisy and ill-humor, put on this earth for the sole purpose of hating children and destroying everyone's day. What an interesting, Goya-esque portrait we become! On the most basic level, you can either decide to respond to derision or not. What Ms. Good-Deed has learned, and what undoubtedly you will too, is that there is a wide gulf between people who have a genuine curiosity and people who just want to a) shout things from a passing vehicle, or b) mutter semi-audible comments as they continue on their way. In the latter two examples, one can be assured that they are not sincerely interested in a conversation, and they do not respect or believe their opinions enough to directly state them. Ms. Good-Deed has no intention of wasting her energy and time on someone who lacks a sincere interest; there are too many people with open minds and ears for her to attempt to talk to one who lacks them. Another thought she has is that when we respond to queries and ill-conceived criticism that is designed to mock us, we legitimize both the speaker and that which is spoken. As we already know, the commentary offered is often groundless. One example is the whole leather shoes controversy. Understand that whether your shoes are made of hemp, cotton, rubber, canvas, or tree bark it is of no difference, you will still be unjustly accused of bundling your feet in animal skins. The most telling example of this happened on one warm summer day several years ago. Ms. Good-Deed had assembled with a group of kindhearted citizens to demonstrate against a rodeo that was in town. Among them was a free-spirited fellow, who, for personal reasons of comfort and enjoyment, does not wear shoes in the milder months. Who do you think was singled out by a mumbling businessman as a hypocritical wearer of leather? You bet. All the activists could do was stare in wide-eyed wonder from a pair of perfectly naked feet to the back of the ersatz detective as he hurried past. It had finally happened: a barefoot person was accused of wearing leather shoes! Oh, it is clear that Ms. Good-Deed could write an entire treatise on this topic, but please indulge her for a just a few more comments...If a person asks her in a direct and respectful manner if she is wearing leather, Ms. Good-Deed will usually say something to the effect of, "No, my shoes are not derived from animals. I’m here to talk about the circus, though. Do you some time to talk with me?" She has found that this effectively puts to rest anything that may divert attention from the larger goal. If you are uncertain as to whether the individual is honestly curious, here is one big hint - he will never start out a dialogue by shouting, "Get a life!" The second thing she wants to mention is that when she first started becoming involved in animal rights, Ms. Good-Deed did wear leather. She was new in the movement, and although she didn't eat meat, she hadn't yet made the connection with most other animal products. She was on a path, though, that led her to where she is today. Whether you think this is right or not, she and her feet were often the target of scrutiny and scorn. Somewhere along her path, she realized that she could no longer justify her contradictory message. And while Ms. Good-Deed strongly advocates patience and kindness with our fellow activists in regards to how far their personal journey has taken them, she would also recommend that no one remain naive about the impact that she can have on public perception. If you are marching against fur in leather shoes, people will notice, and you are undermining an otherwise powerful statement. Lastly, Ms. Good-Deed would like to say that your decision to help the animals in the circus is a courageous and compassionate one. The more you feel confident in this, the more that you educate yourself about its many aspects, the less the attempts to ridicule you will rattle you, because you'll know the truth. Ultimately, that will be the source of your strength. XOXOX,
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