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| ...meticulous advice for the refined activist |
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Dear Gwendolyn Good-Deed: Kind Activist: You mention that you live in a less-than affluent neighborhood. Ms. Good-Deed would like to make clear that this is not a necessary detail of your particular circumstance. Drawing upon her upbringing in the oh-so-homogenous New England hamlet of Port Angloview, Ms. Good-Deed recalls many well-heeled individuals who were hardly sterling examples of humanity. In fact, the coarse behavior of the Good-Deed’s neighbors, the Snobbloods, was the catalyst in helping young Gwendolyn develop the still-forming ideas she had about right and wrong. Let us go back in time (not that much time!) to when little Gwennie was a budding young activist-in-training. She spent many hours of her halcyon youth liberating moths from spider-webs, setting confused frogs back on the correct path to the pond, and filling the family's bird-feeders with a nutritious and delicious seed mixture that she concocted. Nothing had prepared her, though, for when the Snobbloods presented their youngest son, Chilton, with a puppy on his fifth birthday. (Is it irrelevant to mention that Chilton was so disagreeable a child that when he was finally banged about a bit for his diabolical behavior, an annual parade was created in his thrasher's honor? Even though Ms. Good-Deed has long since advocated a more peaceful path to conflict resolution, every year when she receives the bouquet and "Thank You" card signed by The Port Angloview Committee for Good Cheer, she must admit that she smiles with pride). Back to the matter at hand. The puppy, named Farnsworth, was the offspring of two champion Airedales. Anything less than that simply would not do for the class- conscious Snobbloods. Unfortunately, Farnsworth did not live up to their expectations; he chewed, scratched, barked, and did other, more noisome, activities on their imported Turkish rugs. In other words, Farnsworth had the great gall to behave like (gasp) a puppy! Mr. and Mrs. Snobblood were thoroughly dismayed to discover that their puppy of regal lineage had no higher instincts than those of a common cur. After a mere week of living in the Snobblood residence, Farnsworth was abruptly relegated to the back yard. They did have a nice, big yard with a dog house, and for a few days he entertained himself, romping around, chasing squirrels. But then as his ostracism became permanent, he became more needy. When the Snobbloods would deign to visit him, he was unruly in his obvious enthusiasm (which illustrates how pathetically lonely he was, to be eager for a Snobblood interaction). He jumped, barked, ran in circles around their feet, and nipped at their tweed pants when they tried to leave. As Gwendolyn observed via her binoculars from inside her treehouse, the visits, as unfulfilling as they were for Farnsworth, were becoming less and less frequent. Other than the maid putting out food and water for him every morning, he received very little attention. One day, when little Gwennie resumed her post on the tree house, she noticed that Farnsworth was no where to be seen. She became hopeful, thinking that the Snobbloods may have had a change of heart and let the lonely puppy back into their home. The next day, she found Chilton in the lunchroom and asked him about Farnsworth: was he living in the house? "No way!" he said impudently "My parents gave that ugly thing
to a farm. I hated him!" Let us now jump forward to the present day and your dilemma. After many years of developing her skills as an interloper on the behalf of animals, Ms. Good-Deed admits that she has discovered no absolutely right or wrong way to approach this situation. It's prickly no matter how one looks at it. One problem is that people can be extremely defensive to what they construe as criticism, so an individual who is trying to help an animal runs the risk of being shut out completely if he starts out on the wrong foot. Generally, what Ms. Good-Deed tries to do is approach the person in a non-confrontational manner, at least at the beginning. For example, she may manage to be raking her yard at the same time the neighbor is working on her lawn. She might say something like, "Hello! How are you today? I see your puppy in the back yard... Boy, is he adorable." To which most people will respond something to the effect of, "Thank you." Now you have an inroad. From there, Ms. Good-Deed will make small talk about the dog; asking questions about his age, where the neighbor acquired him, that sort of thing. She also feels the situation out, asking herself if the person seems defensive or open, nervous or trusting. If she feels that the neighbor seems reasonably friendly, she will ask something like, "I was just curious...Do you keep him outside because he's not housebroken?" Unless the individual is highly suspicious, this shouldn't be enough to make her close you off completely. If she answers, yes, the puppy is outside because of a behavior problem, ask if she would be receptive to help. Most large animal shelters have an education department, as do national animal welfare groups. They might also be able to refer you to an animal behaviorist, if they don't have one on staff. If your neighbor says that the puppy is outside because that's where she wants him to live, you still have a few options. If she is breaking any cruelty laws of your state (generally, if she is providing food, water, shelter and medical care, and she is not beating her animal, she is not breaking any laws), Ms. Good-Deed recommends that you contact a humane investigator through a shelter. He or she can investigate your complaint with respect for your anonymity. This can be helpful, because even if the person regards her dog as a piece of property, the risk of tickets, fines, and court dates is usually intimidating enough to inspire most people to change. If she's not breaking any laws, but is just giving her dog minimally what is required, you can still try to talk to this person, appealing to whatever works. If she seems primarily motivated by the dog being an investment, tell her you know of neighborhood dogs that were stolen or poisoned. If she's motivated by wanting a dog for protection, tell her that dog's protect those who are valuable to them, not someone who occasionally throws down some food or water. If she seems motivated by money, perhaps she wants to sell puppies, tell her that the humane society adopts out puppies of all shapes and sizes for less money than she could ask for. In other words, when talking to this individual, try whatever works. Don't appeal to a sense of compassion if she doesn’t value her animal's life; it simply won’t work. If none of this works and you somehow find the dog accidently in your possession, make sure that you have a home already lined up for him. Be certain that there are no trails leading back to you. Treat it very seriously, as the law is on your neighbor's side. In other words, be careful! Whatever the outcome, though, please accept that it will not always be what you want. We will not always achieve the most desirable conclusion in every situation. As important as it is to do what we can to help the animals, we also have to know when to we've tried our hardest and we can't do any more. We have to trust and respect ourselves enough for that. Unless we accept that occasionally some matters may be out of our control, we're setting ourselves up for worse than defeat; we're setting ourselves up for apathy. Best of luck to you - XOXOX
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