Dear Gwendolyn Good-Deed:
I've got a strange little problem. I work in a large office (about 70 people), and besides me, there is only one other known vegan. This person, a man I'll call Martin, is really, really aggressive about his beliefs. He loudly and repeatedly insists that anyone who isn't a vegan is a murderer; he hangs up posters of bloody animals in the lunch room; he belittles and shames anyone who objects to his tactics. In short, he's alienated most of our colleagues, and he's soured them on veganism. I agree with Martin philosophically, but not in execution. The problem is that because I'm an "out" vegan, I'm afraid people have lumped me with him. Also, how can I change their perception of veganism? Any advice?

Signed,

Guilt By Association

Gentle Reader,
Wait one moment: do you mean to tell Ms. Good-Deed that all vegans are not consumed every second of their waking hour with converting every soul they interact with to their way of living?!? Do you mean to tell Ms. Good-Deed that you've left some surfaces of your desk bare of posters of veal calves or trapped foxes, bumper stickers with derogatory statements against meat eaters? That you would avoid having loud, finger-pointing confrontations with your colleagues every moment of your work day? What kind of vegan are you, anyway?

The answer is that you are an individual with your own beliefs, and, more important in this situation, your own style of communicating them. Even if you maintain a similar philosophy - that animals should not be exploited or killed for human gain - your approach is different from your colleague's and you shouldn't have to take the blame for or defend his actions. There is also the small fact that even if you and Martin had similar methods of communication, you are only accountable for one person: yourself. Ultimately, your words and actions are your only responsibility.

Just because Charles Manson was a southerner, does that imply that all southerners are wild-eyed murderers? Jesse Helms is an outspoken Christian: do his words necessarily speak for the thoughts of his millions of brethren? Absolutely not. Despite how much the human animal has a tendency to compartmentalize and generalize, most of us are also equipped with an ability to discern individual differences.

As a vegan, the very best thing you can do to avoid being misunderstood by your colleagues is to be the best example of an individual you know how to be. This is true in any situation. Be patient, thoughtful, and well-spoken. Be passionate, kind, and helpful. Don't pretend to be perfect or have all the answers, only Gwendolyn Good-Deed does (just had to slip that in). Most of all, let your unique voice be heard.

By being a great example, you are making inroads where Martin may have distanced. By showing that you have your own beliefs and your own way of approaching situations, your colleagues won't be able to help but see you as a unique individual, and not a stereotype. To this end, not only will you be able to express your beliefs in the way that feels best to you, but you will also be encouraging those around you to take notice, to become more critical, more perceptive, more open-minded. You will be a phenomenal voice for the animals and the planet. Remember, your voice and what you do with it is all for which you are ultimately responsible.

XOXOX,

G.G.D.