  |
 |
| ...meticulous advice for the refined activist | |
|
Dear Gwendolyn Good-Deed: Now, to my horror, I find myself tempted to become superior in the matter of cruelty to animals. This troubles me greatly. I feel an awful hypocrite. And it won't help to shut up. This is a personal dialogue. I haven't yet succumbed to actually expressing it, thank goodness! What's a chap to do? Yours faithfully, A.T. Gentle Vegan: Do you see how easy that was to do? We all lapse into it from time to time, and, though self-righteousness is not acceptable, it should at least be acknowledged as a common human tendency. We become self-righteous when we disconnect from those around us, and we feel that we are somewhat different from them, but also better, smarter, more compassionate. In your specific situation, as a vegetarian-turned-vegan, Ms. Good-Deed will make the assumption that even though you were primarily influenced to change your lifestyle because of health concerns, you read a bit here and there that impacted you emotionally. Why else would you have an instinct to tell people exactly what they're eating, how it was produced, how the animals in confinement suffer? You were given information, or you had firsthand knowledge, that influenced you emotionally. Because you have a deeper connection to animals now, regardless of how that occurred, it does no good to ignore it. When one's consciousness is raised, it's like a lightbulb is turned on, and there's no way it could be turned back off again. Occasionally we can dim it a bit, but it's always there, illuminating us from within. Instead of castigating yourself for feeling superior, Ms. Good-Deed recommends that you invest your energy toward trying to figure out a way to share your thoughts and knowledge without alienating your "audience". If one feels lectured at, or condescended to, it is virtually impossible to listen. Everyone has experienced this to some degree or another, and it is unpleasant to say the least. The best success Ms. Good-Deed has had at getting people to listen to her, is for her to actually listen herself. This may sound obvious, but it's remarkably rare that we actually listen and hear the words of the people we are talking to. Instead of assuming off the bat that this is an adversarial relationship, that the people you are talking to don't want to hear your message, consider your interactions to be conversations in which everyone has something to learn from one another. You'd be surprised, once you really, deeply listen, how hard it is to judge another. Furthermore, by being a good example of a considerate conversationalist, you will be setting a standard for those you converse with, and they will likely extend the same courtesy to you as opposed to if you were to approach this person full of assumptions, judgments, and pat responses. Furthermore, gentle vegan, Ms. Good-Deed would to point out that just the fact that you are troubled by a tendency to feel superior is a very positive sign that you don't feel comfortable with it, and you want to change it. You are fortunate to have such a drive toward self-improvement. In addition to all this, Ms. Good-Deed would like to say that it can be hard not to become angry and judgmental when we consider what our animal friends suffer through and how senseless it all is. Amazingly hard. She finds it to be incredibly refreshing when people care enough about other beings to want to scream from the hilltops about the unfairness and the insanity of it all. By all means, don't stop talking. That you want to do it in a way in which you will most likely be heard is very encouraging indeed. XOXOX, G.G.D. |
| Previous Correspondence | Gwendolyn's Index |
Next Correspondence |
Vegan St. Market...Vegan News...Community Center...Calendar...Vegan Living...Home
Funhouse...Activist's Handbook...Gwendolyn Good-Deed...Links
©1998-2000 Vegan Street