April 1, 2003
		Bush Administration awards Vegan Street the Exclusive Contract to Provide Vegan-Themed Clothing to Postwar Iraq Following the announcement that Vegan Street would be awarded a lucrative and exclusive contract to be Iraq's vegan-themed clothier as part of the post-war rebuilding effort, CEO John Beske declined to reveal the dollar figure they accepted. "Let's just say we won't be going hungry any time soon," he said. Dismissing the flack they've received from within the notoriously fractured vegan community, Mr. Beske said, "You know, some people won't be happy with anything. You just can't please them. But what if this contract for vegan-themed clothing went to a German company. Or, worse, a French one. That'd be awful," he said. "The French are such wusses." Marla Rose, Vegan Street company president, said, "Right now we've got a run on red-white-and-blue vegan-themed camisoles for blisteringly hot Baghdad summer days, so there will be no mistaking that a proud yankee company provided them." Without prompting, Ms. Rose, pumped her fist into the air and chanted, "U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A!" Others, however, question the ethics of the Vegan Street contract. One prominent vegan, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, implied that there may be some improprieties. "Marla's got some family from Houston, so who knows how in bed they might be with the Bush family," he said. "Also, I think John visited the White House as part of a school trip back in seventh grade. Who knows? He might still have some contacts there." "I'm just saying that this whole thing seems a little suspect." Mr. Beske, however, shrugged off the criticism and continued folding shirts. "I think whoever said that is just envious. If we don't pursue this contract and some un-American vegan company starts trying to clothe Iraqis, well, then the terrorists will have won." >>>MORE