Chicago-based activists and a fox with a guitar throw a "Going Away Party" for Andriana Furs as they close down their Michigan Avenue store in early 1998.

(Or, How to Throw a Proper Going Away Party to Send Off the More Sadistic and Shallow Members of Your Community)

1. Read about their financial woes in your local newspaper. Call all your friends and laugh with devilish delight. 2. Call the pelt merchant in question and ask when the last day of their liquidation sale occurs. 3. Meet with your animal rights groups and arrange to throw a party on the final day of said merchant's pathetic existence. 4. Send out press releases to the media, perhaps in the form of an invitation. Encourage them to join in on the festivities. 5. Alert anyone on the mailing list of your local animal rights groups. 6. Procure items befitting a raucous event. Some examples are party hats ranging from birthday style to tiaras, various instruments (horns, drums, bells, whatever), festive signs and/or banners, individually wrapped candy to pass out to the public and sparkling grape juice (along with glasses, of course). The idea is to create a celebration befitting the long-awaited departure of your local peddlers in torture. Let your imagination run wild! 7. Have a more artistically-inclined member of your organization make a giant going-away card to present to the erstwhile furriers. Include a humorous message, for example, "Welcome to a new chapter in your life - Chapter 11!" Sign it for yourself. Sign it for the animals. Maybe add a few balloons, ribbons and sparkly things. 8. Think of songs you want to sing*, snappy chants, good-bye speeches. Make copies of the songs and chants to pass out to your fellow revelers. 9. The day of the blessed event, meet in front of the soon-to-be shuttered store. Be happy, grin, sing, blow your horn, pass out candy, ring your bell, hug each other, present them their going away card, make toasts, play taps on a trumpet (or with your voice), wave good-bye to those inside. Above all, be jubilant - this is a very good thing! 10. Repeat over and over as the fur stores continue to topple like wobbly blocks. Have your party supplies packed and ready for the next opportunity; it could be coming to your community next! Here's one of the songs we sang when we helped Andriana Furs celebrate the closing of their Michigan Avenue store. Sing it to the tune of "Auld Lang Syne". Let Andriana be forgot, and never kill again... May all the animals live in peace and never lose their skins. And never lose their skins, my friend, and never lose their skins... When all the fur stores close for good, the animals will win! This song is a lot longer and more spirited. It sort of follows the tune of the Woody Guthrie song: "So long, it's been good to know ya." So long, it's been good to know ya, So long, it's been good to know ya, So long, it's been good to know ya, Those animal skins aren't payin' off no more So the time is right to be closin' your doors. For years and years you've strangled and gassed, tortured and slaughtered the animals en masse, But now that you're bankrupt, it seems clear to say That Andriana Furs must be on their way. So long, it's been good to know ya, So long, it's been good to know ya, So long, it's been good to know ya, It seems only right to be endin' this way, With creditors on the phone and bills left to pay. The hats and the gloves and the coats that you've sold Are no comfort now as your business must fold, Chapter 11's your karma, my friend, We always knew you'd get yours in the end. So long, it's been good to know ya, So long, it's been good to know ya, So long, it's been good to know ya, You're thinkin 'bout where and when you went wrong, But it’s too late now, so we’re singin' this song The foxes and minks and the beavers you've killed Can't be reconciled with the wallets you've filled But one day you'll have to plead your case to the furry little creatures who'll laugh in your face. So long, it's been good to know ya, So long, it's been good to know ya, So long, it's been good to know ya, The animals you massacred can't bid you adieu But they're smilin' somewhere, you know that it's true.

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