Sometimes it seems like the work we are doing to spread the word of veganism is a Herculean effort, one only taken on by the most masochistic of do-gooders. An outsider looking in would probably view our dominant culture as being obsessed with Pamela Anderson (yes, you too, PETA), philandering politicians and little else. Of course, this fixation recedes a bit when hijacked planes are crashing into perceived symbols of U.S. tyranny and anthrax emerges as something more threatening than just a bad 80s-era hair band. Our culture's old obsessions are just below the surface, though, waiting patiently to return to their rightful place on our televisions and in our hearts. How can we possibly get anyone to listen to our message when all they want to do is speculate about which juvenile pop sensation either a) got *cough* surgical augmentation , or b) mysteriously went from a B-cup to a D-cup overnight ? Well, yeah, it looks hopeless from that vantage point, but, really, we have moved toward a more vegan-friendly society when we weren't looking. Don't get me wrong: more animals are being killed today in the industrial agriculture machine than ever before thanks, largely, to people believing chicken is a healthful food choice. What interested me in writing this piece, though, was how our larger culture has shifted, paving the way for changes occurring at the foundation of our society. Don't pay attention to quacks who prattle on about the merits of a beef-centric diet or perfume-soaked, 5-pound fashion magazines that declare animal coats to be "A Return to Glamour": they are a dying breed of dinosaurs, releasing one shrill, pathetic wail before extinction. Let's instead look at the changes that have occurred since I went meatless as a 15-year-old in 1982 and the present day. Oh, the early 80s were dark days indeed. Let's climb aboard the wayback machine and revisit the days of a Flock of Seagulls, skinny ties and Reagonomics, if only to contrast them with today. In the end, I think you'll be encouraged. In other words, I don't want to hear any of you whippersnappers complain about things today until you've walked a mile in my stylin' vinyl green duck shoes. "Vegetarian" means... A lonely, sad, misunderstood existence as you are expected to "eat around the meat" at every meal. A "reasonable", unintimidating version of a vegan. Vegetarian food means... An iceberg lettuce salad with ranch dressing, and a grilled American cheese sandwich. Thai, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Moroccan, Southern American, Ethiopian, Tibetan, Israeli, Spanish... People of note who are known for their love of animals... That old widow who lives in that rundown house on your street with the 73 cats and 24 dogs. Oh - and Morrissey. Moby, Alicia Silverstone, Kim Basinger, Prince, James Cromwell, Paul McCartney, your grandmother, your piano teacher... Oh - and still Morrissey. Thanksgiving usually means.... A microwaved sweet potato, a nasty turkey carcass on the table, relatives quizzing you about why you don't just eat "a little" meat, and a very sullen mood. Tofu turkeys galore, stuffed squash, cornbread, vegan pumpkin cheesecake, cranberry cobbler and great conversation. Tempeh means to you... That city in Arizona. But it's spelled T-E-M-P-E. A delicious component of the Indonesian gado-gado you made last night. Eating out with friends usually means... Fries or a baked potato. Soda. Bickering over which vegan dining establishment is most supportive of the community. Your likelihood of finding another veg to date... Hah! Like that's a possibility! I'm lucky if I can find a penpal. Pretty darn good if you put a little effort into it. Doesn't mean it's going to be totally without a hitch, though. You still may argue over whether "natural flavors" is safe or not. Also, if you break up, you may squabble over who was the original owner of the compassionate consumer guide. You are usually described as....... That weirdo who listens to "Meat is Murder" all the time and won't eat normal food. That "unique" person who passes out Why Vegan brochures to everyone and won't eat normal food. (Okay, so some things haven't changed much.) Your parents treat your "coming out" as a vegetarian as... Roughly akin to you telling them you are about to go golfing blindfolded on the interstate during a flash flood. An opportunity to discuss how they don't really eat *that* much meat anymore, and, heck, they should just join you already. If someone asks you if your shoes are leather, you say... I don't know. I think so. I mean, what else do shoes come in? Of course not! These are hemp sandals stitched by a cooperative living in the Santa Fe, moron! Your best friend thinks your diet is... Really weird. Really weird. If you would stop being so stubborn and accept that a raw foods diet is the only way, then you'd be a truly virtuous example for society like him/her. So you see, life has changed a lot since I was a sophomore in high school until today, when I run my own vegan business. So don't lose hope and keep plugging away! Maybe by the time I update this in 20 years, it'll be a nostalgic look back at a time when shoes were occasionally still made out of leather and some restaurants were non-vegan. Let's make this a goal, people!

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